One of my friends was out at a bar...and right beside him was a very famous retired, football lineman...actually did the last gasp of stardom, Dancing With The Stars...and asked my friend to buy him a drink...which, of course, he was honored to do...and then...when it was time for retribution...he balked...sorry buddy, I got no money...true story...
When you know that the show is over???....when you resign yourself to signing autographs for money...set up a booth outside a sports memorabilia store...and sign away for $40 a pop...Pete Who?...Vegas baby...true story...
Or you beat the rap on killing your old wife...wait, that certainly limits the numbers...and go on a rampage to get back your old trophies...and get caught in a sting...and sit the rest of your life in prison for that....and not murder...Vegas baby....true story...
Or, you dish on a "friend" who pays your back taxes out of the goodness of his heart....and say that you wouldn't kiss him in a film 'cuz his mouth was too groady...and why did he "give" you the dough?...back to the jail routine here...true story...
Or, you keep painting your mustache to make you look young...wait, don't lay that one on me...well, maybe...but think of that guy on Friends, that still has a black stache...paparazzi makes him do it...I just want to look good...OK, I buzzed mine...but hey, the gals all do their hair, why can't the guys do their stache?...I mean, c'mon...
Why do the old, washed up NBA stars stay on so long, that the only thing that you see is their name in the box scores...DNP, coaches decision...move on, get a real job, and be like the rest of us...er, like the rest of us did...er, I am sorry...I'm between jobs...it's just been 12 years since the last one...
Or, your singing career has plummeted so far, that you sign on to be a music judge...and hope...yup, hope...that the glitz and glamour will bring you back....so the paps will recognize you again...let's see, how many of those stars are doing this?...I can think of at least 5...think about it...
You become a lobbyist...you hang around a politician, and help him get elected...and then sponge off him getting in office...find that the best way to make $ is to sign on to some big firm that thinks that you have a inside network to your senator "buddy"...voila, $350, 000 grand a year...
Order a sausage biscuit from Mickie D's...and get a biscuit with a piece of sausage...only...no egg...no butter...no cheese...that damn dollar menu...and then be told by your golfing buddy that if you went to Hardees that you'd get two complete sandwiches for $2...and then have him shove the sandwich so close to your face that you could bite off of it...and then tell him, you fool, it's Carl's Jr...see, I got him...
That you play with a bloke who won't give you a two foot putt, cuz he might win a quarter...when he is the only bloke on earth that would or could miss that putt...that's good...repeat, that's good...move on...
If your only claim to fame is your face...at what point in time do you alter it to keep it the same?...I mean, get rid of the oncoming wrinkles...and when do you stop?...there is no turning back...would you do it?....because, it WILL NOT be the same...damn the paps...
OK, enough, you get my drift...I am a Rambling Man...sung by?....Snooki, you have 5 minutes to guess....and don't look it up on Google...
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