Mother's Day

Well now, the mother's have passed on and it's really a happy spouses (femalish) day...and if you already have everything that could possibly be wanted...here is a list of what to give for ...Happy Wive's Day....
10.  Ugg fur lined slippers...it's such a cold evening, and what better to protect the bunion laced feet of your mate...
9.  A 2010 calendar of "Wham"....I know it's 5 months into the year, but it's a good price...and I know they may be of the other persuasion, but what the heck...
8.  Year's supply of Mello Mint Patties...OK, it may be a bit selfish here, but keeping her with good breath is a good thing...
7.  BV Chardonnay...see above...this time to get her liquored up...
6.  Edible panties...a bit too far?  I'm just keeping the theme going...but you know, if chocolate is your passion, why not?
5.  Pedicure and Manicure...pretty much the real deal here...any color of her choice, except black...not a fan of Goth...
4.  8" by 10" glossy of you...make sure you are freshly shaved, and with all 75 pieces of your hair sticking straight up...use the white strips before the picture is taken, if you plan on smiling...
3.  Gym membership...oops, probably the wrong message given....but in the interest of extension of life...cougar country, so maybe you should get one yourself...
2.  Breakfast in bed...just make sure she doesn't cook your over easy eggs hard...wait, you're supposed to do the cooking...get the maple scones at Starbucks and the iced mocha...
1.  And the best selection of all...a new swim suit!  Yes, and you go pick it out and surprise here with your version of what is in...
There you go, can't miss list to keep your wurman happy on this special day...