Golf

So I finally get out and play a round of golf...92* and a bit too hot for this old boy...so I use a riding cart (smart)...my playing partners decide to walk and use pull carts (dumb) and they pair us with another riding cart person for our 4th (?)...now I've packed my clubs before on this course and I am no fool and the ride is the only way to go...
Anyhoo, it doesn't take too long to figure out that this is going to be anything but abnormal for the round...the balls are flying all over the place and the direction (straight) is the least of the concern for the balls...3 of us have trouble seeing the ball, and the 4th never looks...fore!...yea right...
So as the golf is progressing...and there are some intriguing (disgusting) traits emerging...1st of all the 4th add on says everything in the 3rd person...Jimmy, why are you doing this...Jimmy, now you're on...Jimmy, all night long...why you doing that Jimmy...at first, I thought he may have been talking about me or the other guy in the group and just got confused about our names...then I realized what was up...I guess he's just a guy used to playing with himself...oops, that didn't sound good...
Person number 2...hackappottumus (hp)...wailed for most of the round about how bad he was...he was...and kept asking rhetorically what he was doing wrong...laid on the tee box and generally looked like he was suffering from heat exhaustion...but wasn't...would drop an extra ball down and let it rip...one never knew what his score was per hole...nor cared...
Person number 3 didn't say more than 10 words the entire round...the stoic one...ball never got more than 5 yards off the ground and yet traveled 170 yards each time and yes...straight...good thing as she never saw anyone else's ball...her one time to me was prophetic..."stay out of the trees"...duh...
And me...the duffer...looked splendid in my attire...smiled a lot and shook my head and wondered at what point in time should I concede that I am bad and take up drinking as a sport...if it weren't for the drives there was no decent reason for playing this bloody game...
So we get to the 17th fairway, and it's par 5 (or 6)...and hp hits the tree on his approach, drops another and hits the same tree...I say I bet you couldn't hit it if you tried...the stoic one looks at me and says she's hot ( words number 6 and 7)...Jimmy hits a nice chip and compliments Jimmy...and duffy popped a beauty up for a birdie op (unfulfilled)...hp jaunts up to the green and putts out before the rest of us get there...and goes and lies down on the next tee box...next thing I know hp and the stoic yell(well hp did) that they are skipping the last...3 groups on the hole...Jimmy looks at me and says...never quit...Jimmy never quits...