Exclusive Interview

Wow! Rarely am I as excited as I am now. I have scored a rare interview of a legendary, local TV junkie, Jasper Crispin!
A little bit of back ground of Jasper (JC). He has been in the area for over 25 years and professes to have watched every, I repeat every, major event that has aired on the boob tube. His expertise is not only on sports, so some of my followers will have to bear with him as he speaks his mind.
I have included here the highlights of the interview. Please be advised as he does not hold back. I scored this at Starbucks at 4th and Market...

Crazy Horse(CH): First of all, thank you Mr. Crispin for allowing me to invade your space for this interview.
Jasper Crispin(JC): Please call me Jasper. By the way, who the hell are you?
CH: I suppose the biggest ticket item now is the Bernie Madoff rip...
JC: Sorry for interrupting you Crazy, but that Madoff basturd should be put to hard labor for the rest of his life! You got me going already! I lost $735 to his scheme and I want blood...
CH: I guess his wife was his bookkeeper...
JC: The rotten fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree...give me back my money! I trust the judicial system...See how they dealt with Charles Barkley?
CH: Speaking of Charles, have you seen his golf show?
JC: Worst swing in the history of golf...how old is Hank Haney anyway? Looks like a gate that won't close...
CH: Being from San Diego, you must have thoughts about the Padres
JC: A bloody divorce devastates the Padres? I don't think so. They are mismanaged from the getgo. Their drafts have been legendary...horrible. Clean the whole mess up, sweep 'em out, and start anew...
CH: You watching the Dancing with the stars?
JC: How do the ladies keep their dresses on? I can't figure it out. Is there tape or wires or rubber bands or are they spray painted on? I can't figure out who are the stars...
CH: What has been the most memorable event since you've been watching tv?
JC: Good question Crazy. Outside of them wars, probably President Clinton saying he didn't have sex with that woman. You couldn't make up that script.
CH: Well...
JC: Who the hell cares. Get on with the country, or country get on with it...
CH: Good your latte has arrived. How long you been coming here?
JC: 7 or 8 years. Say you ever gone down to the Turf Club? Grill your own ...Used to have stand up there. You ever hear of Edgar and Slappy?
CH: Oh my...