Believe It Or Not...

So we were on our way out yesterday to hit some balls and we happened on an estate sale in Mission Valley. Since we haven't stopped at one since moving into this area we just had to. Rummaging about the house we came about a small suitcase that had a hand written label of " Slappy" on it. Since there were so few people in the place I asked the owner what that was. She was the daughter of the gentleman that had just passed away, Edgar Jones, and she said he was an amateur ventriloquist back in his days. He also was an avid San Diego Padre fan and often he performed down at the Turf Club... Well me being me, I opened up the suitcase and lo and behold, there sat this dummy, who must be Slappy. I immediately picked him up and put my hand back in the director's pocket. What happened from here on I swear is true. Slappy's head turned toward me and said "Where the hell you been?" I eerily looked over at Marsh and said did you say something to me? Slappy said "no dummy, that was me!" I was dumbfounded and told Slappy to go on. Believe it or not this is what Slappy said..."I have had all this pent up emotion and you just left me here? How could you do this to me? We're watching TV together and I am getting scared about this invasion of Kuwait by the these crazy Iraq people...and I don't know where that is going...then we sit down to a Padre game and this crazy Roseanne sings the national anthem like a scream from a horror movie...then the Padres whup on the old Red Machine...and I am thrilled with how Tony Gwynn, Roberto Alomar, and my favorite player, Mike Pagliarulo have destroyed them tonight 10-4...and then you put me to bed for the night! I am so mad at you...we had to talk about this! Anyway, Edgar things are looking up now! By the way, what happened to that Iraq leader anyway?"

I swear this is true...